~2/3/2021~
When we hear the word “love” I feel like our minds automatically go to a certain thing or maybe even a certain someone. When we are asked “what is love” I feel like most of our minds go straight to the idea of it being romantic. Which is it. But it’s not just that. I feel like we forget that a lot. Love is not just romantic. I was thinking about love the other day. I was thinking about feeling love and also being surrounded by so much love in my life when I feel like there is none. I have so much love. I have so much love from people around me. I have so much love to give to others. I have so much love surrounding me in my everyday life. Now regarding love romantically, nope, don’t have that, never have had it, and that’s okay. SO many of us have never felt love in that romantic way. Do you know how many of us have never felt that but then go on to say that “no I have never felt love.” WRONG. SO WRONG. Since when did this idea of love in our heads have to come from something or someone romantically??? Since when was that the only idea of love that we put into our heads? We forget all the time that love is so big, so versatile, so broad. So special. I would take love from every other aspect in my life over romantic love every single day. Now don’t get me wrong, do I hope I fall in love one day? Absolutely. I also know that that is not my only chance of love though.
So let’s talk about it.
Love. A simple four letter word but something that holds so much power to it. It’s something that can tear you down and make you shed tears for days but it’s also something that can make you feel so happy you could burst. Love is funny like that. Simple but complex. Now I am in no means some expert on this at all but I do feel like I have a voice to talk a little bit about it because I came to the realization of the love I have in my own life, and let me tell you it is so dang special.
So the other night I was sitting in my bed crying. Crying more than I had in months. I actually think I cried for about 2 days straight. Y’all it was bad, like bad bad. While I was sitting in my bed with tears filling my eyes making everything blurry, I was looking up at my ceiling talking to God. Some of it was talking and other times it was more of me yelling at God because of my frustration. Regardless, me and the Big Man had a good conversation that night. He listened to my dramatic self go on and on about how I will never be loved and I am worthless and will never be good enough for anyone. After I was done, I got off my soapbox and God opened my eyes to a realization I hadn’t had in a while. He said “Ansley, do you not see all the love you already have? Does that mean nothing to you?” And when I say that was conviction at it’s finest, it for sure was. Like dang God, okay, I see you, I hear you. I sat on my bed and started to think about love in a very different way than I had been previously thinking about it . I was sitting on my bed and right outside my door were 3 people within 10 feet who loved me. My parents and my brother. If I wanted to get in my car I could have driven no more than 10 minutes and been with even more people who love me. My sister, brother-in-law, best friends, other family, etc. I even looked at the end of my bed and saw my dog laying there. He loved me. My little ball of fluff loved me. Then I started thinking about how love is not necessarily a thing you have to feel for someone you know. You can feel love for a complete stranger. You can show love to the cashier at the grocery store. You can have love for the people you go to the gym with. The list goes on and on because it is literally endless. Let that sink in. If that doesn’t blow your mind I don’t know what will.
So often we have this narrow minded view on love, but why? Who made us think that way? Movies? Maybe. Music? Possibly. People? Probably. Regardless we have this narrow view of love and we forget how big of a thing it really is and how widespread it can be, but in the best way. I was just thinking the other night while I was sad, that I could either sit there and wallow in something I have no control over and the ideas that were flooding my head that weren’t true OR I could change my viewpoint and mindset on things to end up making me happier in the end. I’m sure you can guess which path I chose.
I just started thinking about how much love I know I have inside of me. I have so much love to show and to give to others. That’s the thing about Love, it doesn’t run out. Now we have to be careful about pouring into so many other people without pouring into ourselves because that can become draining but that’s a whole other topic. Truthfully though, I was thinking about how I could love more. There were so many different aspects in my life where I could be loving or show love and I just wasn’t, but that was on no one else but me. My family and friends, of course I love them but do I show it? Strangers around me, do I show them love and kindness? These were the questions I was asking myself. How can I expect to be loved by others if I don’t love others well? As humans it can be so much easier for us to put our head down, not talk, ignore and just go on with our day and worry about no one else but ourselves. It’s as simple as me smiling at a stranger in the store. Me asking my parents how their day was at work. Seeing my brother need help carrying something and doing it without asking. Now I’m sure you might be saying “Ansley those are all just normal nice things to do.” You’re right, they are. But if you do them with love instead of just doing them because you feel like you need to or should, the outcome will be different. It might not look different but it will feel different. A good different.
I am probably the first person to say that MINDSET IS EVERYTHING. There have been multiple times where I have had to change my mindset on things and there has not been a single time where it turned out badly for me. We hold more power within ourselves then most of us give ourselves credit for. We just have to push ourselves. No one is going to do it but us. We hold the power, it’s just are we willing to step out and use it or be safe and hold it in. You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. Little things y’all. Start little. I’m not saying go outside right now and change your entire life this second, baby steps are okay. They are not any less than a big leap. Do what you are comfortable with. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Little things like, waving at people more often. Walking around with that beautiful smile God blessed you with. Saying hello to people in your amazing voice. Asking questions. “How are you?” “Is there anything I can do?” Give more compliments. “I love your outfit today.” “ Your smile is contagious in the best way.” “My life is so much better with you in it.” Words can go miles. Actions can go miles. Kindness and love can travel galaxies. And all of that is for free too, WOAH. I know right?!?!? Crazy.
Last but not least, remember who loves you the most in this entire world. The person who brought you into this world. God. He is your biggest love, your biggest supporter and cheerleader, your biggest partner through it all. If you can see God's love then you can see all love, you just have to open your eyes to it.
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